Factgirl

factual, friendly, fabulous!

I’m Unleashing the Power of my Blog!

January29

http://www.5ives.com/

The above blog suggested I unleash the power of my blog and even gave me some ideas to start.

If this blog really did have power I would want to  do so much stuff.  Feed hungry people. Encourage people who deserve it. You know - be a do-gooder!

Why can’t it? Why can’t my blog help someone? I bet it could! Now…who should I help with my blog…

Dang its so hard to pick someone. And then what? Do I have a fund- raiser and donate the cash to a charity? Do I host some kinda meetup where we build a house for someone?

Ugh, all that thinking made me tired. If you have a blog, won’t you join me to brainstorm how we can unleash the power of our blogs to help people!

Now I have to go. Its poker o’clock! Bye for now platipusses!

Play Winning Bubbly Poker

September4

If you want to play winning alcohol poker you have to watch the master: Kobe Bryant.

Kobe was with his special lady (his wife in this case) at the opening of Blush Nightclub in Las Vegas. He heard Antonio Esfandiari order two bottle of Christal, and wasn’t going to let that go… he ordered five bottles.

AS is no slouch - he raised Kobe TEN bottles! Kobe re-raised FIFTEEN bottles and AE folded.

The best part? Kobe paid the $21,000 tab and left before one bottle was delivered!

via TMZ

posted under Poker | No Comments »

Who Likes to Rock the Party?

September2

I like to rock the party!

In the post below you will find my recap of our year in Ireland - but here’s what’s coming up for us:

Poker goal: to stop making sucky calls. It is one donkey call that puts me out of every single tourney I enter. I take full responsibility. Also this elf that sits next to me who chants “you have him so beat!” over and over.

Parenting goal: to teach my kids how to ride bikes without training wheels. Sub-goal: buy kids bikes.

Personal goal: Go back to school - I enrolled in two archeology classes at University College Dublin. wish me luck!

Travel goal: Spain, Southern France, Italian Coast, Scotland, Sweden, whatever opportunity comes up.

Party goal: rock party (as usual)

And in Poker Community Apology News…

March25

So about 8PM GMT I received an email from another player that I was still signed up for the SEO freeroll on FTP and being blinded off.

I thought this was strange because the tourney didn’t start until 9pm. hmmmmm

I logged in and played - about half the field was being blinded off. An hour later nearly 20 people signed in to find they were massively shortstacked (1400 chips vs 8k plus for the people who were playing).

It also came out that at least three players who had signed up with confirmation on the SEO website had not been entered into the tourney at all. Meanwhile, I, who had asked to be removed from the tourney was there.

If anyone needed confirmation of what a shady organization this SEO is, you have it right there.

Haley deserves a lot of credit for exposing this, I’m afraid with my last post I vented my frustration at her. I am sorry for lobbing a Boyd bomb at you - to each her own. I hope you understand that had I known how shady these guys were, I never would have signed up in the first place.

(PS I finished 10th - out of the $, which is probably karma’s way of telling me I shoulda gone to bed)

posted under Poker | 3 Comments »

And in Poker Community News…

March24

Oh, poker community, you guys are like a family (granted, there are a statistically a large number of drunk handsy uncles, but whatever).

When there is a feud or an uproar over some issue, I usually watch from the sidelines and enjoy the show. In 2006 I played in the Ladies Event at the WSOP - there was a little controversy there over ladies tournaments in general - but it was the one event I could afford and was happening while I was in Las Vegas, so I felt just fine about playing.

But this morning I woke up to this:

Haley is Shocked and Appalled Y’all!

So I unregistered. It nearly killed me to unreg from a $5000 freeroll with only 38 players. Thats how much I love you ghey bloggers. Remember that, cause here comes the tough love:

Dear Poker Blogging Community,

Hi, it’s me, Facty! How are you, I am fine. Hey I wanted to write a letter to you because I noticed you aren’t so great about handling your problems with each other in a respectful way.

Sometimes a blogger will do something that makes another blogger so mad - and what do you do? Call that offending blogger out on your site, making sure to use your high horse, write at least 300 words about why you are right, and remove all offending links to the site that so greivously offended you.

Friends and neighbors, that is not how you respect each other. How about a nice comment on a post or even better, and email message explaining your point of view. How about dashing off a note right away instead of posting it to your blog. That way people see it in a timely mannor and can take action on your complaint.

And finally, make sure your house is in order before you get all high and mighty. Make sure you don’t have any unfortunate Dutch Boyd links before you say something like, “I do not cater to thieves, nor those who would do business with them.”

I don’t cater to thieves either, but if they have a bankroll and play tournament poker, I will be happy to have them at my table. I don’t want to support site scrapers and spammers - I want their money!

Anyway, poker community, you guys are great and I am glad to be a member.

factually,
Facty

Tough love over my friends. Back to rainbows and unicorn poop!

posted under Poker | 3 Comments »

full tilt poker idea

February18

sorry not a longer post - i will have plenty soon and you will discover why im typing with one hand and on valium. to tide you over i found this:

linky dinky doo

+

=

posted under Poker | 1 Comment »

New Years Resolutions

January4

2007! wooooooooooooo! I’m surprised none of you have christened it the Year of the Hammer (with a snowman taking a nap in the center) yet. But, with so vary many of you shutting down shop and heading over to the PokerWorks blorgy (blog + orgy = blorgy), I can understand why you may not have time to start new poker hand memes.

Today I was reading through my RSS feeds when I came across a post that has been a blogging/op ed staple since Roman times: New Years Diet tips. You know what they usually say: Drink 22 glasses of water every day, don’t forget breakfast, carbs are baaaaad. This list particularly caught my eye because I hated almost every tip. Here it is, with my notes in bold:

1. Leave behind three or four bites of your meal. Research shows that people usually eat everything they’re served, even if they’re not hungry. This is the one tip I agree with.

2. Skin your chicken after cooking it. You’ll retain moisture yet still strip away 148 calories and 13 grams of fat. Wha? Remove the BEST PART? Next you’ll be telling me to discard my Oreo centers or scrape the chocolate off my Snickers.

3. Eat your sandwiches and burgers open-faced, with one slice of bread instead of two. And how, pray tell, am I supposed to HOLD my sandwiches and burgers? When the Earl of Sandwich invented the bread-around-filling thing, he did it so he could eat with one hand while riding a horse. You want me to get off my horse in the middle of a fox hunt to eat my open-face diet sandwich and possible get mayo on my Ralph Lauren Red Hunting Coat and White Pants that make my ass look awesome? I think not!

4. Trade in your chocolate bar (235 calories) for a glass of light chocolate soy milk (120 calories). Silk chocolate soy milk is yummy and its great for a post workout drink! Soy milk is for… for… damn, soy milk is so nasty I don’t even KNOW who its for. And while we are discussing trading a chocolate bar for some soy milk, lets make some other great trades: how about a date with George Clooney for a date with Pauly Shore! Perhaps Ferrari for a Kia! weeeeeeeee!

5. Use butter-flavored nonstick spray, not a tablespoon of margarine or butter, to make grilled-cheese sandwiches and eggs. I personally assembled a round table of chefs and asked them if you should use butter-flavored nonstick spray, and all but one said no. The one that said you should use the butter spray had a soy milk mustache and admitted to working at a vegan raw food restaurant. The other chefs braised him in some truffle butter and served him on a bed of rocket.

6. Order a white-wine spritzer (80 calories) instead of a mixed drink (about 180 calories). Only whores drink white-wine spritzers.

7. Hold the cheese, please. A single 1-ounce slice of cheddar has 113 calories. On salad and pasta, sprinkle on one tablespoon of grated part-skim mozzarella (36 calories). Seriously? Why would you do that and add NO FLAVOR when you could add a tablespoon of Parmesan for 27 calories or Romano for 19 calories? Whoever wrote this needs to go back to eating school. Counting school too.

8. Ditch the maple syrup and top your pancakes and waffles with a dusting of confectioner’s sugar and cinnamon or a tablespoon of low-sugar jam. Skip the butter entirely and cut even more calories. SCREW YOU DUDE AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SYRUP.

9. Top salads with a half cup of crunchy celery instead of a quarter cup of croutons. Same crunch effect but without the carbs! Carbs are good. They feed your brain so you can do things like think. When you think, you can come to conclusions. Conclusions like: Celery is a yucky replacement for croutons. You know what is a good replacement for croutons? Croutons! They have grain and fiber! Fiber makes you poop! Pooping keeps you healthy and happy. Eat your damn croutons.

10. Make substitutions at brunch: poached eggs instead of fried, lean Canadian bacon rather than regular bacon, or fruit salad in place of home fries. Better yet, eat brunch only once in a while. Make it a treat and eat what you want.

If you really want to eat factually (like me!), you need to eat good food and enjoy it. Adjust your attitude and have happy days - as many as possible. Don’t make crazy New Years Resolutions that are just setting you up for failure. Be like Agent Cooper and give yourself a little present every day - a cup of good coffee (not frappiccino!), a slice of good pie (not fruit pie the magician!), a piece of chocolate (but not before 4PM or after 8PM - the choco-window!).

Happy Hammer ∞ Year!

A Happy Christmas and Very Merry Hannukah to You

December18

Hello my marshmellow friends!

I hope that you are having a wonderful holiday season! Here are some tips to make things better all around:

1. At the Annual Family Poker Tourney, let your mom win a hand without berating her for limping with AK in the cutoff.

2. Compliment your mom for the lovely holiday meal - tell her the yams were your very favorite and ask her what her secret was.

3. Don’t let her see the yams as you sneak them from your plate to your napkin to your purse.

4. Replace your gleeful screams of “SHIP IT!” every time you win a hand at the AFPT , maybe replacing the exclamation with “HO HO HO BITCHES!”

5. Got hard-to-please surly teens on your list? Everybody loves iTunes!

6. Go pick up a clever Trophy for the winner of the AFPT instead of making everyone buy in for $100 - everyone will be more relaxed when they aren’t playing for their Holiday Savings. Then you can clean up on side bets!

7. Your mom wants a Spa Gift Certificate.

8. Lookout… your 19 year old nephew read a couple of poker books this year. He is trapping your TPTK with a set.

9. Don’t drink too much! Especially since your 19 year old nephew is 420 with the scrumph.

10. Stop overthinking it all. Find one thing to love about as many members of your family as you can and write them down. One day you will look back and be glad you had good thoughts about your family. Or you will have something to rip up and burn in a cleansing bonfire ceremony.

I leave you with this exchange between fh and myself:

[14:03] husband: happy christmas
[14:03] husband: :)
[14:03] factgirl: why thank you Happy Kwanza to you
[14:03] husband: internet purchase complete!
[14:03] factgirl: you just got me something?
[14:03] factgirl: :D
[14:03] husband: hope it gets posted in time
[14:04] husband: if not, you’ll just have to trust me
[14:04] factgirl: not a problem - I wont be able to drive it until after the new year anyway
[14:04] husband: how’d you know i got you a broom?

I’m Back From Vegas Bitches!

July11

There has been so much going on in life since I last updated you - where to start? I think first the big news: our family is moving to Ireland. We have spent the past month preparing our house to be rented and getting our ducks in a row to leave at the beginning of August or thereabouts. I hope to write a little bit every day about the entire experience of moving a family of poker players (ok, Calvin more a video gamer) to a new country.

But today we aren’t talking about that. Today it is time for a Las Vegas Poker Recap! I’ll keep it in little bite size pieces so you can read it in the bathroom.

Day One

It was July 7 - fhwrdh and my 12th wedding anniversary… little did we know, one Degree All In Moment may have made it our last. (dun dUN DUNNNNNN)

Our goal was to kiss the kids, fly to Vegas, drop the bags and head to the Rio to register me for the WSOP Ladies event on July 9 (thats my birthday y’all!) and that is what we did. I am not even going to review the Excalibur Hotel room we stayed at - suffice to say that there is no fluffy bathrobe and the sheets had poop on them. Yes poop.

Down at the Rio we swept through the WSOP Tourney area. I followed fh through the room as he pointed out pros. I wasn’t wearing my glasses plus I don’t care about poker pros very much so I just nodded my head and enjoyed the crowded blur.

We made our way to the cage and purchased my seat at the Ladies event it was pretty cool handing over 1k in an envelope and getting this:

Squeel!

After a refreshing nap, we went over to meet the other bloggers at the MGM Grand Poker Room. Bloggers everywhere! At the HORSE table were Absinthe, Colombo and the Mrs., Eva Can Hang, Falstaff, my husband, Felicia, and… dang I cant remember who else! (email me please and I’ll add you). I am frightened of stud and razz (ok and Omaha too - gimme a break I have two little kids) so I decided to play some 2-4 limit where I am the queen of the table!

Name on the list, check. Time to buy some chips! The elderly woman at the cage calls me honey and I open my wallet and take out a hunny.

FG (that’s me, bitches!) “100 chips please!”

Elderly Lady “100 whites?”

FG “are whites one dollar?”

EL “Yes. What game are you buy into?”

FG “the 2-4″

EL “you are going to need more than that! You need at LEAST 200 for that game!”

FG “OK you are the expert! Ill take 200 whites!”

I’m starting to think that maybe she thought I was buying in to the no limit but no worries, I got me two racks of pretty white chips and I am ready to use them! But its not my turn to sit down yet, so I head to the bar where there is Joe Speaker, Iggy, Al, and many more hanging out. Jkat bought me a drink and soon my name was called for my table. I carefully carried my wineglass and my 2 racks of white beauties to the table.

“Hi everyone!” I exclaimed as I tried to fit my wineglass into the drink holder cup on the table (tip: regular wine glasses don’t fit). I began unloading chips, nodding at Helixx down at the other end when suddenly the table began laughing. I pretty much ignored it with the firm knowledge that my fly was up and there were nothing hangin out of my nose and began to play my poker.

Fun poker commenced and I won a few pots and started making friends with the fella on the other side of me - one lady from Simi Valley was so nice we chatted and bonded over our suburban life.

“So were you wondering why everyone was laughing when you sat down?”

“I was!”

“When the last guy got up and left, the dealer said he wanted the next person in that seat to be a pretty drunk girl with a lot of money.”

Thats it for day one - more tomorrow bitches!

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