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Decade Mom


Seven years ago I wrote this:

Three-year-old boys are usually not very interesting people.Perhaps you work with someone who is a parent of a three-year-old boy. Once you get past the general stats (yeah, my boy can throw a football - he’s got some arm I tell ya), the requisite compliment of the photo/original artwork/unrecognizable craft project (wow. Your kid made that gluesparklethingy himself? wow.) What is there to say after that? What? There are only two major things that can possibly make a three-year-old boy interesting:

Good Luck:
Inheritance - everybody loves rich people, right?
Beauty - Macaulay Culkin will never be so loved as when he was a preschooler
Talent - I saw a 3-year-old kid who could play zydeco accordion on a talk show once
Brains - that cuddly kid over there can compute pi to the 784th place! Woo!

and Bad Luck:
Poverty - Save the Children wouldn’t show those hungry kids if it made people turn the channel
Disability - did you see that poor kid with the deformity/wheelchair/freckles?
Mishap - orphans, toddlers who fall down wells, survivors of crime and accident are riveting.

I am a parent of a three-year-old boy. He is bad luck interesting. Pervasive Developmental Delay. Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Sensory Integration Disorder. Asperger Type Symptoms. He is still learning to speak. He is socially inept - he may mistake hitting or headbutting as friendly gestures. He can’t stand certain textures of food, strong smells, or high pitched sounds. People find him interesting. They ask questions.

“Autistic? Are you giving him extra oxygen?” Perhaps you thought I said Asthmatic.
” What’s his special talent? You think he could count cards in Vegas like Rain Man?” He can freeze water with his mind.
“Can he read your mind?” Ummmmmmmmm…

They comment:

“He doesn’t look autistic.” Uh, Thanks?
“I’m so very sorry - how is your family handling it?” He didn’t die. This is part of his personality. He wouldn’t be him without it.
“You are an inspiration.” You wouldn’t say that if you knew I served my child pizza for dinner 5 nights in a row.

My favorite is when people give me parenting advice. The best comes from people without kids.

“He just needs some attention.” I spend 20 hours a day with him - what more can I do?
“He just needs some discipline.” Oh yeah - I’ll be sure to crack the whip until he understands what a napkin is.
“Don’t worry - He’ll grow out of it.” Thank you Dr. Stupid. I feel much better now.

So what, you ask, am I supposed to say to you, mother of the little boy spinning in circles, eating rocks, humming, repeating the same phrase over and over? I’ll tell you. Find a Good Luck Interesting thing about him and say it.
“What a beautiful smile!”
“That is the fastest spinning I’ve ever seen!”
“He knows the names of all the planets! What a smart kid!”



My boy is ten years old today! Happy Birthday Jellyface! He goes to regular school in a regular class and if you ask him how he’s doing he will say “I’m great! A liiiiiiittle autistic, but great!”

He is still processing what autism means. Over the past two weeks he tried to see if he could get away with clowning in class “autism means I’m goofy!” and wiggle out of homework “I cant do all of it, I’m too autistic” but neither ploy worked. I guess he learned autism isn’t an excuse - but he also knows that it isn’t something he needs to fight. He has had fights with his sister over weather doctors should try to cure autism. My favorite quote from that was “I don’t NEED a cure. I LIKE being autistic!” yelled at the top of his lungs.

I like him just the way he is too. I only wish I’d known when I wrote the above piece how Good Luck Interesting autism could be, and how wonderful it is to have a goofy little kid as my son.

posted under kids | 6 Comments »

And in Poker Community Apology News…


So about 8PM GMT I received an email from another player that I was still signed up for the SEO freeroll on FTP and being blinded off.

I thought this was strange because the tourney didn’t start until 9pm. hmmmmm

I logged in and played - about half the field was being blinded off. An hour later nearly 20 people signed in to find they were massively shortstacked (1400 chips vs 8k plus for the people who were playing).

It also came out that at least three players who had signed up with confirmation on the SEO website had not been entered into the tourney at all. Meanwhile, I, who had asked to be removed from the tourney was there.

If anyone needed confirmation of what a shady organization this SEO is, you have it right there.

Haley deserves a lot of credit for exposing this, I’m afraid with my last post I vented my frustration at her. I am sorry for lobbing a Boyd bomb at you - to each her own. I hope you understand that had I known how shady these guys were, I never would have signed up in the first place.

(PS I finished 10th - out of the $, which is probably karma’s way of telling me I shoulda gone to bed)

posted under Poker | 3 Comments »

And in Poker Community News…


Oh, poker community, you guys are like a family (granted, there are a statistically a large number of drunk handsy uncles, but whatever).

When there is a feud or an uproar over some issue, I usually watch from the sidelines and enjoy the show. In 2006 I played in the Ladies Event at the WSOP - there was a little controversy there over ladies tournaments in general - but it was the one event I could afford and was happening while I was in Las Vegas, so I felt just fine about playing.

But this morning I woke up to this:

Haley is Shocked and Appalled Y’all!

So I unregistered. It nearly killed me to unreg from a $5000 freeroll with only 38 players. Thats how much I love you ghey bloggers. Remember that, cause here comes the tough love:

Dear Poker Blogging Community,

Hi, it’s me, Facty! How are you, I am fine. Hey I wanted to write a letter to you because I noticed you aren’t so great about handling your problems with each other in a respectful way.

Sometimes a blogger will do something that makes another blogger so mad - and what do you do? Call that offending blogger out on your site, making sure to use your high horse, write at least 300 words about why you are right, and remove all offending links to the site that so greivously offended you.

Friends and neighbors, that is not how you respect each other. How about a nice comment on a post or even better, and email message explaining your point of view. How about dashing off a note right away instead of posting it to your blog. That way people see it in a timely mannor and can take action on your complaint.

And finally, make sure your house is in order before you get all high and mighty. Make sure you don’t have any unfortunate Dutch Boyd links before you say something like, “I do not cater to thieves, nor those who would do business with them.”

I don’t cater to thieves either, but if they have a bankroll and play tournament poker, I will be happy to have them at my table. I don’t want to support site scrapers and spammers - I want their money!

Anyway, poker community, you guys are great and I am glad to be a member.


Tough love over my friends. Back to rainbows and unicorn poop!

posted under Poker | 3 Comments »

Happy Irish Mother’s Day


Good Morning!

Well, today is Irish Mother’s Day. ‘Tis, I admit a little strange that they picked the day after the biggest drinking binge of the year for Mother’s Day, but I am guessing a lot of people are wanting their mothers (and Ibuprofen) as they wake today.

Nothing disproves the old saying “luck of the Irish” more than the Irish mother. If you read Angela’s Ashes like I have, you know that Irish mums are hard working, long suffering women who will lose at least two of her seven babies to typhoid, tuberculosis and streetcar accidents.

So Happy Mother’s Day!

I also wanted to give you a little recap of what our family did yesterday for St Pat’s because it was a very excellent day indeed. Originally, we were going to go the the parade in Dublin, but Greenbirdy was cough cough coughing in the morning so we decided to stay in. Roundabout 1pm, we all got so hungry and Greeny was feeling a little better so we headed off to Dalkey and the Ivory Pub to get some fine brunch.

As we walked in, there were only a few tables taken - the pretty young hostess asked “would ya like to sit up front? Or maybe a table in the back - the match is starting soon.” The match! Of COURSE we would like a table int he back to watch the match!

The Match is, of course, the Six Nations Rugby game between Ireland and Italy. Ireland had won all of its games and was in contention to win the big trophy! We ordered some brunch (fh had Smoked Salmon Eggs Benedict, I had a Spicy Chicken Wrap, and the kids had nuggets and chips) and settled in as the crowd grew larger and louder.

The Guinness was flowing and the air was buzzing with the excitement of the fans. The game began with the singing of the Irish National Anthem Amhrán na bhFiann (the Soldier’s Song), which sounds less like an anthem and more like a drunken bar song - everyone sang along loudly and with all their hearts. Then it was time for the Italian national anthem (which may be the only national anthem in the world that thanks all the maidens for their “invitation of love”), the entire pub fell silent - no boos or catcalls, just no reactions at all. The Irish aren’t considered the most sportsmanlike fans in the world for nothing!

So we watched the match and cheered Ireland to a huge victory of 51-24. This nearly gave them enough points to take the Six Nations Trophy - but Ireland lost ground in the last few seconds and Italy closed the gap. This let France score a few more in their game and take the crown. It was interesting when Italy would score, no one clapped or shouted but I heard a couple of people say things like, “they deserved that one” and “impressive run there”.

A couple of cool things happened during the match. First, a guy dressed as a Leprechaun came in and met his friends to drink and cheer - and cheer he did. Anytime there was a lull in the pub, he would shout “Go Ireland!!!” and everyone cheered. I think he got a lot of rounds bought for him.

The other cool thing was when the Guinness Pub Trivia squad came in and asked if fhwrdh wanted to have a go at a game. He could choose the easy questions and get a free pint, or the hard questions and get a Guinness rugby shirt. “I’m American, I may not be able to do the hard ones - but I really want a shirt!” he exclaimed.

“That’s OK, Ill give ya hints.” the Guinness Girl replied. Her companion, who had a flat screen TV and battery pack strapped to his chest came over and the competition began. You can play along with fhwrdh! Answers posted at the end of this post!

1. What is the name of this stadium?

2. Who is this captain of the England team?

3. Who is this #8 player on the Ireland team?

So fhwrdh won a cool Guinness Rugby shirt! Yayyyyy! The owner of the Ivory came by later and dropped a matching shirt off for Jelly so my boys matched!

(picture coming as soon as blogger cooperates!)

Answers to Guinness Trivia:

1. Landsdowne Stadium
2. Martin Johnston
3. Paul O’Connell

Happy St. Patrick’s Day


First, drink a Guinness. This is the best thing you could ever drink.

Then, take this test: CLICK ME, I’M IRISH!

Have another Guinness. You’ve earned it!

Now, go shopping - tomorrow is Mother’s Day in Ireland!

Time for a Guinness with the lads.

Find a cute baby, dress it up in a proud onezie and make it smile. Take a pic!

What? no access to a cute baby you say? Here, you can borrow my friend’s:

That baby is so cute, let’s have a Guinness!

When you wake up tomorrow afternoon don’t forget to drink plenty of water and call your mum!

Slan go foil,

PS: Three months till Bloomsday.

Tie Fighter Restrictions on Dublin Streets


Driving home from Pheonix Park night before last we spotted this street sign; evidently the city of Dublin doesn’t want too many Empire fighters congregating near the canal. In all fairness, the canal area is an excellent place to practice your tie fighting skills, dodging swans, flying under and over bridges, and shooting lasers at pidgeons.

I wonder if X-Wings also get static from the Garda along this stretch of road.


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