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How Not to Look like an Asshole when Visiting Dublin

March17

The people of Ireland are some of the best, most fun, friendly wonderful people in the world. They will welcome you with open arms, even if you make some of the mistakes below. For real, they need the money around here, but do you want them to serve you with a smile while they think to themselves “What an asshole!” No. No you don’t.

1. Just wear the feckin’ green on St. Patrick’s Day. Really, join in the fun and leave your political/religious message (that you obviously have no clue about Irish History) for another day.

2. Don’t order a Black and Tan or an Irish Car Bomb. You might just get yourself tossed out on yer arse.

3. Your Irish accent isn’t as good as you think it is. Save it for your community production of Finian’s Rainbow.

4. Subjects to avoid in the Pub: The Troubles.

5. Also at the Pub, if sports are on, cheer for the team everyone else is cheering for or shut up. I have a friend who spent two hours listening to a rugby match in the car because she made the mistake of cheering for England.

That’s it! Now go out there and make Bono proud!

Bono

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